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A few days ago I grumbled, with sponge in hand, as I wiped
crumbs off the kitchen counter. They had been there the
previous evening. They had been there after breakfast.
Finally, after dinner, I couldn't take it anymore. Why was
it always me who had to wipe down the counters? Was I the
one who left the crumbs on the counter? No. Did my husband
and two children have broken arms that kept them from doing
the job? No. Did they think I had nothing better to do than
pick up after them?
My husband, Gerry, walked into the room while I quietly
ranted with frustration.
"Why is it," I asked, hand poised on one hip, and the
sponge serving as my pointer, always me who wipes down the
counters?"
"I did it a few days ago," Gerry replied.
"Aaarggh!" I groaned, turning back to the chore. "How can
you stand preparing food on a countertop that is covered in
crumbs? That's so gross!"
"I wipe it down before I use it," Gerry said.
That didn't make me feel better, but I didn't say anything.
"You aren't the only one who does things around here,"
Gerry told me. "It may feel that way sometimes, but you
aren't. And even though it seems like I am the only one who
ever refills the containers for the cat and dog food, I
know you and the kids do it sometimes too. And even though
it feels like I spend my waking hours letting the cat in
and out of the house, I know you and the kids do that too."
I finally smiled. Gerry was right, of course. The chores
are split fairly evenly in our house. The children have set
chores of washing those dishes that don't go in the
dishwasher, emptying the trash, sweeping floors and
vacuuming. Gerry and I share the rest. He starts the
dishwasher each night and empties it in the morning. He
wakes the kids each morning and gets them ready for school.
I clean the bathrooms and kitchen.
As I rinsed the sponge and returned it to its corner of the
sink, I said a silent prayer of thanks for my husband and
children. I wasn't doing all the work after all. I was only
doing my share.
~~~
Challenge for the week
What tasks at home or work do you feel like you are the
only one who does them? Is that accurate? Can you think of
times when someone else has done the task, no matter how
infrequently?
Does anyone else know how to do the task? Be careful not to
make assumptions on this point. It may seem obvious to you
how to do the task, but someone else may not know. Using
the countertop example, do you use a sponge or rag? Do you
use a sponge different from the one used to clean dishes?
Do you use dish soap, a disinfectant or other cleaning
agent?
What tasks do others do that you don't have to do? Look
around and consider the things you take for granted in your
life? Coffee doesn't make itself. Automobile gas tanks
don't fill themselves. Groceries don't magically appear in
the refrigerator or cabinets.
How can this new perspective change the way you feel about
the tasks you perform and about the people around you?
~~~
Author's Note: After reading this story, Gerry said, "Makes
me want to go pick up the sponge." He did manage to
restrain himself.
~~~
Copyright 2002 by Donna Doyon. All rights reserved. You are free to
use material from the A Swan's Song eZine in whole or in part,
as long as you include complete attribution, including live web
site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear.
The attribution should read:
"By Donna Doyon. Please visit Donna's
web site at http://www.donnadoyon.com for additional stories and articles on improving relationships with yourself, your family and the other people in your world."
"Carefree Woman" artwork by Ann Boyajian
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