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I stayed close to the friends who had gently coerced me
into going with them to this informal social event. Teresa
had said, "We're all tired after that long drive. But this
will be fun. It will wake you up."
I wanted to believe her. Within minutes, however, the crush
of people, the scent of perfumes and colognes, and the
multitude of conversations put my mind into sensory
overload. I had to escape.
I told my friends I was okay, but that I needed to go back
to the room we were sharing. Once there I dropped on the
bed and looked at the clock. I discovered I had lasted less
than 20 minutes at the party.
Yet I was exhausted. My head ached and my heart pounded. I
was close to having a panic-attack. Within a few minutes,
however, I felt myself calming down. I pulled out some
clothes for the next day and hummed as I ironed them.
I sat at the desk and wrote the "state of the area" report
I had forgotten to prepare before leaving home. I was
eating a handful of Wheat Thins crackers and reading a
novel when I heard the door open.
"Oh my gosh," Teresa exclaimed rushing into the room. "You
are SUCH an "I"!"
"Is it that obvious?" I laughed. I knew she was referring
to one of the characteristics of the Myers-Briggs Type
Indicator or personality assessment. The "I" stands for
introvert--someone who finds energy by being alone and
pulling into herself for reflection...someone who feels
drained by crowds of people.
"I've never seen anyone just shrink like that," Teresa
continued. She made a slurping noise and gestured with her
hands to show someone pulling inside herself. "We walked
into that room and you just... I don't know... you just
shrunk."
I was comfortable and not offended by Teresa's assessment.
In fact, it was rather amusing to me because in just a few
moments time, she gained a greater understanding of what
makes me tick.
But at one time I would have gone on the defensive at being
called an introvert. I used to think that being an
introvert was a bad thing. I thought it meant I didn't like
people, or that I was antisocial. I thought extroverts,
people who feel exhilarated when in a crowd and surrounded
by activity, were the best people... the most fun. So for
many years I tried to force myself to be a "people person."
But I never had much luck with it. It felt phony. It was
too exhausting!
Then I learned about the personality types. I learned about
my personality and I learned what it means to be an
introvert.
I was wrong to think that introverts don't like people. In
fact, my whole understanding of what introverts and
extroverts are was wrong!
These classifications have nothing to do with whether you
like people or whether you are fun person to be around.
Instead they represent the way you recharge your battery.
Introverts need quiet time, alone time. They find their
energy from within. Extroverts need activity, people, and
external stimuli to get pumped up. They find their energy
from outside sources.
Once I understood and accepted that my need for quiet time
and personal space was vital to maintaining my energy
level, I began to respect that time. I began to include it
in my routine so that I could keep my energy level at its
peak. Sometimes I can go for weeks without renewing it, but
when I do, I find that I've drained so much energy with my
constant movement, that I need longer to recharge my
battery. At other times, I need short, frequent bursts to
feel re-energized.
Whether you need quiet time or commotion, solitude or
socialization, or internal or external forces to fuel your
body and your spirit, tap into it often enough so that you
can maintain the most efficient level of energy to complete
both your daily tasks and your life purpose.
And the next time you try to convince a weary friend that
she needs to settle down and take a bubble bath, or join
you on a shopping spree, remember that just because
something restores your spirits, doesn't mean it will
restore her's. Trust her when she says, "No thanks. I'll be
okay," and let her find her own way. While you find your's.
~~~
Copyright 2002 by Donna Doyon. All rights reserved. You are free to
use material from the A Swan's Song eZine in whole or in part,
as long as you include complete attribution, including live web
site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear.
The attribution should read:
"By Donna Doyon. Please visit Donna's
web site at http://www.donnadoyon.com for additional stories and articles on improving relationships with yourself, your family and the other people in your world."
"Carefree Woman" artwork by Ann Boyajian
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